Consciously deciding that the pathway to God is my way was the biggest choice I could make. And it was not even a choice really. I actually felt that I had no choice. The world wasn’t working for me – and trust me I tried and tried over and over. I remember even saying to one social worker years ago that I only wanted to be normal – I thought that functioning in a society, work hard, have children, pay the rent and pay the bills etc was being normal and how it was supposed to be. But even though it felt so sad I tried to become that. Today I would say that I was very blessed that it wasn’t working at all. So I had no choice than to seek within and go for the truth of who I am – of who we are. But it can be a very hard ‘work’ at times. Constantly looking at believes, thoughts and values with honesty and forgive and let go is a full time ‘job’ right now – because wow the ego is tricky and smart and has many disguise.
So here I am on a Tuesday evening and totally exploding in happiness after a night that felt like the darkest hell ever. Huge mind attacks seemed to last forever and I couldn’t see out of my eyes because of all the tears. Some deep berried believes had to come up and be forgiven and released. I felt alone, lost and separated from God. It is like the more closer I get to my true Self the more the ego tries to fight for it’s existence. And it only exists if I believe in it. I posted on Facebook the other day this quote “The ego is terrified of the truth, and the truth is that the ego doesn’t exist”
It is a major mind training redoing/unlearning everything. And it the best use of my time here 😊 This is IT! All there is!
I am staying now in Mexico in a huge ‘house’ that looks and feels like an amazing temple. It feels so deep just being here. It has nothing to do with the form, but everything to do with the debt and the powerful energy that is here supporting the awakening to truth. It has everything to do with God in our hearts and remembering our real Home.
The first time I was in this temple I had a very deep mystical experience on the top balcony where I saw the world disappeared and everything went white. It is impossible to describe it in words. Everything was gone and everything was white and so peaceful. I felt safe and at the same time I felt a huge expansion in my heart. Like I got filled up with light and love. Well, that’s the best way to describe it I think.
I live here with many others in a community and more will be joining us in about one month. I – that basically kept myself from people because it was too difficult for me, am now living with others, sharing everything and joining. I had never ever in my life thought that this could be possible. And top of it all in Mexico – the Icelandic girl is traveling all over the world. I can only say that when you say YES to listening and following the inner voice – the Holy Spirit – anything can happen. Life becomes a fairytale – literally!
I haven’t been writing so much lately as I have been moving into the temple (The Temple of Aesculapius) and getting everything ready – and so many things have been happening. But I felt like writing a bit now here late on a Tuesday evening before I go to sleep (9.30 is late for me 😂 I wake up very early when it’s still dark outside and cozy😊).
Happy all days and keep on going – never give up – even though it sometimes seems very dark. It’s all for healing the mind and It is all for you ❤️
Love and light
A quote from A Course in Miracles
“Be not afraid. We only start again an ancient journey long ago begun that but seems new. We have begun again upon a road we travelled on before and lost our way a little while. And now we try again.”